Hilarious Typos

Yesterday, I went to Home Plus. I was in the cleaning section. There was a mop. It had a label. The label read, "Moping for Room." AHAHAHA!

Yellow Dust

The weather forecast currently reads, 41 degress with haze. That "haze" is yellow dust from China. I didn't think the pollution here would be an issue, but over the past two weeks I have had all of the symptoms of a cold (sore throat, stuffy nose, hacking cough) without being sick. I need my glasses more than before, because it's hard to see through the haze. My co-workers can't wear their contacts anymore. It is disgusting. I'm thinking of buying a mask to wear on bad days. Also, what am I supposed to do when I want to let fresh air in? Is opening the window still better than letting the air get stale in my apt?

This sucks.

The Glory of the Wholesale

On Friday after work I wanted to walk around an unexplored part of Seoul, so I of course went to a place I've been dozens of times, Dongdaemun! I usually go to district one, which is full of beautiful, trendy clothes and people. Also, there are lots of outdoor performances in district one, usually by teenage boys dancing to pop songs. On Friday, I ventured into District Two.

Never have I ever been allowed into wholesale stores before. The showrooms in France would let me in sometimes, but would never tell me a price, let alone allow me to buy something! In the States, I'm not even sure how I would go about finding a wholesale warehouse that would let me in to nose around. So after toujours hearing "non", there was something really exciting about being able to just walk in, no questions asked.

I've been really curious about the facade that goes into selling clothes. My Economics professor insisted that all prices are exactly equal to their worth, but after working retail I think that's ridiculous. After watching Calvin Klein underwear go down from $12/pair to $4/pair, and seeing people pay both prices, I think it's all about luck. After all, fashion doesn't change so quickly that those basic pink briefs could be outmoded by 66% in two months. Somebody got ripped off, but because not enough people fell for it, the rest of us got the price we deserved (excess supply!) Anyway, every time I buy clothes and accessories, I get caught up in the same question: what is this actually worth? Straight from the distributor, what did the shop-owner pay?

The answer is, from a brief survey in Konglish, that clothes tend to be marked up about 300%, and bags maybe 200%. Of course, with clothes, you're paying for the convenience of a dressing room, something not available from wholesalers. In fact, at the wholesalers market, you can't even try on button-up sweaters. However, after visiting the "French Bag Market", I'm really glad that I never bought a pricey bag a block away in District One. In District Two, I found a high-quality, trendy leather bag for under $60.00. The price tag says $140.00, a price that I would have found completely reasonable (even on the low side) in District One.

Directions to Gwanghee Fashion Mall, where wholesale leather goods are sold: From Dongdaemun Stadium Station, walk down the street towards the N. side of the stadium (Migliore, Doosan Tower on your left.) Follow the stadium around, there will be a Coffee Bean on your right and an Art Gallery, keep going. The Gwanghee Fashion Mall is on your left. It doesn't open until about 9:00 PM, though, so don't show up early and then overstay your single beverage at a busy coffee shop! (Whoops.)

Chance

An average subway ride for me consists of brief stares from adults, long stares from children, and silence. Or maybe once a week the jovial "hello! where prum?", and an occasional Jehovah's Witness trying to save my wayward soul. So Sunday night was really unusual in that I was approached by not one, but two old men, who were apparently unrelated.

The first old man was yelling at an old woman walking away from him when I came onto the car, insisting that she sit in the special seats restricted to the elderly, disabled, and pregnant. She was by no standards good-looking, it was clearly a friendly invitation. She refused, and hobbled away alone. Because he was yelling in my general direction, standing up and seeming crazy, at first I didn't even turn around but instead presumed he was yelling at me. So both of us were actually protesting the invitation violently for about a minute. Then once I realized he wasn't talking to me I sat down, and after about ten seconds he noticed me and began to actually invite me over. I said no, and he got off the train two stops later. I looked at the guy across from me like 'what was that all about?' and he asked a question to the younger Korean guy next to him, I think he asked him how to say "I'm sorry" in English. I think this because after he asked him the question, the guy said "I"m sorry" in English. But he never said "I'm sorry" to me, he just got off the train.

Then, about two stops later, a couple with a little girl boarded, and so did another old man in hiking gear. Hiking gear is a staple of the elderly Korean's wardrobe. The family stood in front of me, and the old man stood separate. There was no apparent relation. This didn't stop him, though, from walking up to the little girl and yelling at her in Korean to practice her English, and repeatedly putting her hand into mine. Her parents were laughing indulgently, and she was turning bright red. I went along with it and said some basic stuff really slowly in between the old guy yelling at her. If she knew any English, no one was going to get it out of her. Then he asked me "where prum?" and exited. The family left a few stops later, re-enforcing my notion that there was no relation.

The coincidence of these two events happening on one subway ride, when I can go twenty or thirty in a row being left alone, reminds me of the danger of drawing a portrait of a place based on brief experience. Maybe I should stop calling Vienna seedy, or Switzerland happy. How long will it take before I have a really complete picture of the odds of any bizarre situation arising, as I do at home? I have seen many people throw up and pass out on the train, but last weekend was the first time I saw a police officer come onto the train because of it. Just when I thought I knew what was going on, the plot thickens.

In other news, I lost my camera, probably at a bar that I can't call because the number isn't listed. This is totally typical of Korea. I realized this when I reached in my bag to take a picture of "Chung's Pizza, A Delicious Concept for the Whole Family."

Happy Tofu Day!

Happy Korean Independence Day! Or Memorial Day, or something. I had the day off, but after buying groceries and spending lavishly at a falafel place I was left with $5.00 a day until Friday, which I think is only slightly more than what a child could live off of in India through Save the Children's sponsorship. This plus bad weather has left me pretty much unable to do anything except enjoy the bounty of the internet.

I did leave my apartment to get a week's worth of groceries, and I'm really glad I did because it was tofu day at Home Plus! They had out different kinds of tofu with sauces at every free sample stand. It was delicious. I wish every day was tofu day. *Sigh*.

These 3-day weekends are really not as fun as I thought they would be. The third day just feels kind of extraneous; it's boring unless you have money to do fun things. I'm actually looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. It's a new school year in Korea, and I have a new class. I plan to spend the evening re-reading The First Days of School, and extracting the very limited advice that applies to teaching pre-schoolers who know literally no English. What am I getting myself into?

Cat Cafe

(This image courtesy of the Korean Herald, which won't allow me to crop out the image of the dog cafe on the right.)
On Sunday, Katie and I went to a place called giocat, AKA the cat cafe near Hongik University. You pay 8,000 Won for a complimentary beverage and an opportunity to play with a ton of cats. It was pretty packed yesterday, there was at least a 2-hour wait. During those two hours we went to Dos Tacos, which has a lot of vegetarian options but is no On The Border.

When we were finally called in, we entered a room with dozens of cats. Bad cats and love cats were kept in their own spacious cages, but the rest were just roaming around. There was no flash photography allowed, and no holding cats when they want to go away. It seemed pretty cat-friendly, but the cats were surprisingly unaffectionate and not playful. I wonder if having a constant stream of people coming in and out is just too much for them, or if they get their play time done earlier in the day.

The decor was nice and I like the idea, but I felt like kind of a weirdo. I like taking care of animals, but not paying to pretend like I'm not intruding on their lives for my own enjoyment. And if you don't know, now you know.

The Choices All End in Death

I just watched a movie in which Kevin Costner plays a serial killer. He comes to people's houses, says hello, and then kills them.

I. This movie inspired me to:

1. Lock my door.

2. Ruminate on how I could beg for my life in Korean. I have a few options:

a. Say "I like it!" and point to myself.

b. Say "Okay!" and point to myself.

c. Say "No money" and point to myself.

d. Say "I don't like it!" and point to the gun.

II. These options inspired me to:

1. Continue studying Korean.

Objectification for All!

I went to the gym after work today and turned on the Fashion Network while I ran. There was a new show on about a reality weight loss competition called Dance Your Ass Off. Overweight girls get paired with hot guys and learn a pole dance routine. Then they perform it in stripper outfits and get judged. The girl who loses the most weight wins.

Kind of weird, right? But it's not Korean, it's AMERICAN. I plugged in my headphones to the TV for a second to make sure. A quick google search shows it's on the Oxygen Network.

First of all, this show proves that dancing is not at all the most effective way to lose pounds. If the winner had been against the competition on the Biggest Loser, she would have been sent home immediately.

Moreover, it just struck me as kind of wrong. Not that fat girls shouldn't be allowed to pole dance, but there's something kind of weird about putting on a show of only big girls that makes it seem like a spectacle. Or maybe that's actually my bias, and if I was a less judgmental person then it wouldn't be any different than a bunch of skinny girls on the pole. But then again, the girls aren't being admired, they're being asked to change. The more they have changed, the more likely they are to win. So it's kind of like the show is saying, learn how to be hot and thus lose weight.

Plus one girl made out with her dance partner on stage, and that was just tacky.

A Literary, Linguistic and Cultural Adventure

I've been reading like a recluse lately, and since I didn't bring many books over I've been relying on the English language book section of Bandi and Lunis. Today I went to the branch that's actually located in Jonggak station Exit Two. The selection is incredible; they have all of the contemporary hits and a huge section of classics. Browsing through those titles set on thick spines is frankly humbling. It's one thing to know that native English speakers get through these, but to imagine a Korean toiling through Finnegan's Wake makes me embarrassed of the relatively small effort it would take me to get through the many books I'd like to read but have put off indefinitely.

This morning I printed off a list of the Best 100 Books Published in the English Language Since 1900 (According to the Modern Library). I have fully read only twelve. Not that it's necessarily my goal to read all of them, I tried my best to read Lord Jim and I don't mind excepting that one, for example. But I would like to familiarize myself more with literature in general from the 20th Century, so I'd like to focus on that for a while. Besides, I think I've read enough 19th Century Lit to satisfy my interest in that time period. So I bought Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser, because I wanted to buy An American Tragedy but I have that at home so it seemed wasteful to get a second copy. I also added a Foreigners Guide to Learning Korean, which came with four CDs for only 20,000 Won! Maybe I'll finally start understanding what cashiers are saying when they give me the total. Now I just give them the biggest bill I have and hope it's enough.

After selecting these books, I went to the cash register to try to get the cashier to hold them while I visited the ATM. I succeeded with the help of my Lonely Planet phrasebook, and after getting the money I needed for the purchase I walked back. To the wrong register.

I went up to the manager and said (in Korean!) "two books". Then I pointed to myself, and to him. He asked me "holding?" I was like, "yeah, 2 minutes." And I pointed to the pimply teenager at this register, mistaking him for the pimply teenager at the other one, and kind of yelled hysterically (in Korean) "No have two books!?" Then I was pointing at my face like, 'Jesus, it's been two minutes and you already forgot about me?' The teenager was totally unimpressed, and fake-searched for my books while the manager was kind of freaking out. Then the manager's face lit up, and he walked over to the other register where another manager and pimply teenager were gawking at me, picked up my books, and rang me up.

The nice thing about this kind of thing happening over here is that I can walk away like nothing happened, and shrug as if to suggest that this is a perfectly normal way to act where I'm from. At home I actually feel the need to joke about it if I do something dumb, smile and explain...Here, I just can't. Although the situation may change once I'm done with Korean Elementary Level One For Foreigners!

Moving In, Again

I moved into my new apartment this Friday, and I'm pretty happy with the space! It's a studio, unlike my old apartment which was partitioned by a sliding glass door. I wasn't thrilled with this initially, but it's actually kind of nice to be able to see everything; I feel more in control of my surroundings somehow.

When I got in on Friday (sans luggage, thanks China Air!) I was dragged to work for orientation. I finally got home over 24 hours after I had boarded my first flight looking forward to a shower. I turned on the water, ran my hand under it, and nearly gave myself frostbite. You have to turn the hot water on, which was virtually impossible considering my inability to understand Korean. I basically went between pressing random combinations of buttons and running to the shower to see if it worked for about thirty minutes before, miraculously, something worked! I don't know what it was though, so I can't EVER turn it off.

I was pretty miserable when I saw the impossibly tiny closet the school provided until I went to take out some trash and found a wonderland of discarded furniture. I got a bureau in perfectly functional condition with some geometric shapes on it, and two guys from the street hauled it to my room for me. I love Korea! Other than that, I got a shoe rack, hanging bar, hangers and a drying rack from Home Plus for 75,000 Won, which is maybe $50USD. Plus some kitchen supplies in the dollar section at Lotte Mart. Success.

My building has a hair place, a few restaurants, and a 24-Hour Family Mart on the bottom floor. I realized I might be a pessimist when I was thinking about my relationship with Korean convenience stores. Each one has a small selection of items that they don't really have to carry, like kitchen scissors, adhesive hooks, tire rim polish, etc. Instead of being happy that one convenience store has it, I'm annoyed when another one doesn't. I really need an adhesive hook right now, and I don't want to walk a block to Lotte Mart. Family Mart, you failed me.