A Comedy of Errors

Here’s an episode that would be remarkably annoying at home, but in my life here constitutes just another day:

I needed to go to a Citibank branch to send an international wire transfer to my home bank account. I googled “Citibank Seoul”, and found an address in Korean on maps not too far from my work. It said that they closed at 4:30, so right after work (4:00 PM) I hopped in a cab and gave the driver the address.

The taxi stopped where the building was supposed to be at about 4:08, and I rushed in only to realize that there was no security guard or directory of offices in this 40-story building. The only thing in the entryway was a touchpad where you write the floor you want to go to, and the screen shows a diagram that indicates which elevator you should take. Luckily, I had written the phone number of Citibank in my journal.

I’m a little shy to call in Korean, so I went outside and attacked random strangers by shouting “hello!” until someone was compliant enough to make a call for me. He told me that Citibank was on the eighth floor.

I went to the eighth floor, and Citibank clearly wasn’t there. I went to some ladies at another financial office, who didn’t have a building directory, so they called Citibank for me too. It turns out it was the 22nd floor. In Korean, 22nd sounds nothing like 8th. The first guy misheard in a big way.

I took the elevator up, and walked into the Citibank office. When I requested to transfer money home, the whole staff giggled. This is Citibank FINANCIAL, harharhar! I pretty much forced a woman completely fluent in English to write down an English help number for me. She did, and I left.

When I called the help line, there was no English option. Then I called the Korean Foreign Help line (02-1330!) and got the English number for Citibank from them.

I talked to the people on the Citibank English help line, and they told me I could send money home using online banking! However, I hadn’t logged in for a year (because multiple tellers told me you couldn’t make international transfers online) so I would have to come into a branch to renew my username and password. But every branch in the city closes at 4:00. I would have to go before work at 9:00.

The next morning, Amir took me to the real Citibank branch by my work. He dropped me at the station, and it was supposed to be 30-40 meters from exit 2. It wasn’t. I called the branch, and they said it was “behind the bakery”. There was nothing behind that bakery. I checked 3-4 times before changing my approach. I was once again yelling at every stranger I saw (in Korean) “Where is Citibank?” By “behind the baker”, they meant “on the same road as the bakery.” Uhh, thanks.

I got there, and got a new username and password. Then realized I can’t log on with a Macintosh computer, so I went to the teacher’s office to use the computer for personal business during work hours, because it was really getting down to the wire (haha) for my student loan due date. I had to install a bunch of protective software in Korean, which was basically me randomly clicking on buttons until I hit the magic combination. Then my login wouldn’t work, so I had to call the CitiBank English helpline again. It turns out they used my old Alien Registration Card number to set up my account, so they had to call the bank where I started my account to get that number. After I logged in, I had to call back because international wire transfers weren’t showing up as an option in the “Wire Transfers” section of the website. You actually have to click on “Global Business Center.” Of course.

BUT THEN I transferred the money! Hurray! And the exchange rate was favorable. The End.